The Adventures of Mango Man!

I swear that I claim no allegiance whatsoever with the Indian National Congress but I thank the Italian...er sorry the Indian National Congress for creating a phrase which has been successfully twisted and translated by my fellow evil engineers.How many times have you heard Mrs.Sonia Gandhi say "Congress ka haath aam aadmi ke saath!"?Countless number of times.But have you ever heard about Mango Man?...Lol!Yes,you have!...I feel it's safe to consider that my readers have equated Mango Man=Aam Aadmi.If not,better go to Mrs.Gandhi for language tuitions! What do you think about Mango Man? Ingenious!Brilliant!This has got nothing to do with my indigenous humour or else it would not have been worth a smile.Idle engineers spend their quality time thinking over such petty matters and voila!An intelligent joke appears out of nowhere! Now this Mango Man is also known as the Great Indian Middle Class.Every person you know has to be a member of this strong lobby. So Mango Man has got nothing to do with mangoes.In fact every spring sees him complaining about the increasing prices of this fruit.Mango man survives on a Mango Bite.The mango man refuses to eat at a coffee shop because he does not want to pay Rs.70 for two slices of bread and an assortment of inedible looking leaves.Mango man prefers a filter coffee at Idli House.Mango Man is responsible for the circulation of currency notes and coins of lower denomination.Mango Man doesn't send an sms to know the score because as an Indian he has been granted the right to watch matches at a TV showroom or simply ask the Paanwaala for the latest score.Mango man squeezes his toothpaste tube to guarantee money's worth.A mango man gorges on Vada Pav and defends its nutritional value just as the Beefeaters defend the Crown Jewels at the Tower of London.Mango man loves to get wet in the rain.Mango man helps others reach home in case it rains excessively.Mango man doesn't go to Iftar parties and mango man doesn't care who Kishen Mulchandani or Queenie Dhody are.Mango man wants to stay with his family during the weekend.He doesn't go to the inaugural of an art gallery or the publishing of a music album.Mango man doesn't have a six pack abdomen.Mango man doesn't avoid taxes.Mango man votes in every election.Mango man doesn't care where Ibiza or Cannes are situated;for him vacation is Matheran,Ganpatipule or Alibag.Mango man wants his onions and potatoes at a reasonable rate and doesn't care for the share market index.Mango man is a law abiding citizen but pays bribes to get his passport or driving licence at the earliest.Mango man is the first person to be approached after the Election Commission declares polling dates.Every political party expects his vote.Mango man is a hero behind the scenes.Mango man is the reason for India's amazing leaps and bounds in every field.Mango Man cannot be duped.Mango Man has a dormant tiger within him.A salute to the MANGO MAN because he is the spirit of India!

A poetic debut!

This is the first time that I have tried my hand at poetry and my start is a rather rudimentary one.Let me clarify that I detest poetry and the reason for this is my inability to comprehend the same.But the exponential rise of amateur poets spurred me and here I am with my first ever poem which I dedicate to my city of birth and the city in which I live, the city which is always on the fast track,maximum city,MUMBAI!
P.S.Please grant me poetic licence.

Floods and deluge,
bomb-blasts and riots,
the city's sufferings were huge,
long were the troublesome nights.
But never has this city lost,
its spirit to go on,
boiling summer or chilling frost,
Mumbai will never be gone!
People crowd and travel long,
by BEST or Suburban train,
their rattling is millions' song,
Mumbai's arteries and vein.
Cricket and Bollywood,
this city's joy,
Mumbai's motto is,
NEVER SAY DIE!
-Hardik Kothare

Adjuring anti-incumbency!

As my 3rd semester comes to an end,I pass through an inevitable phase of retrospection.And this semester stands out to be an exceptional six months in the entire span of my educational years.The concept of class representative was introduced to me in my 2nd standard and since then I have always been the class representative by default (there have been certain gaps in between but I consider those periods to be similar to a caretaker government situation.There have only been a handful of Gulzarilal Nandas though).The start of this historic semester was marked by a milestone event.An event which completely changed the scenario in front of me.Altogether new avenues appeared which would guide me on the road towards success in future.A branch change! The most talked about topic in first year engineering students is 'branch change'.Dozens of students aspire for one and the numbers start dwindling as the year progresses.And the last 10-12 people left in the race are the most optimistic people in the batch.The time period between the results of the 2nd semester and the declaration of branch transfer list is full of anxiety as contenders think over possibilities and the numerous permutations and combinations and calculate the probability of success.This includes detailed analysis of every student,his or her marks and the branch preferred.And my name
appeared in the highly awaited list.1st September 2007!Time:2 pm.I received phone calls from my friends in Electrical Engineering who had been convincing me since the first semester that I could easily switch to Electrical Engineering after first year.Their confidence was tremendously encouraging and cheered my spirits all throughout.I would utilise this medium to thank them from the bottom of my heart for being so supportive.So when I heard their congratulatory words,I had a feeling of deja vu because I had thought over this situation billions of times.I was
quite bugged with the checking of my Construction Materials journal in Civil Engineering,courtesy Professor Bogus alias Bodas.And the news that I have shifted to Electrical was gratefully welcomed by me.It took weeks for it to sink in and people will claim to have heard me muttering this even after a month,"I still can't digest the idea that I have severed all my connections with cement,concrete and am starting anew with circuits and wires".To which many of the witty section reacted by offering me Hajmola.The first shock that helped me digest the fact was when I realised that I was no longer the Class Representative and although I had represented this pack of wild engineers in the first semester,I was absolutely sure that they were not going to ask me to take over the reins.But then the first day saw me becoming an unofficial assistant CR.No more announcing in the class,collecting money for photocopies,getting
notes from professors,attempting to cancel extra lectures or practicals,being answerable to seniors and professors,writing petitions and initiating signature campaigns.In short no more mandatory duties which superficially appear to be arduous in nature but in fact are completely enjoyable.The question "Do you miss being the CR?" will certainly provoke me to answer in an emphatic affirmative! Yes,I missed all the privileges and the burden associated with being the CR.In school,I loved being an aggressive leader.Not that I was an authoritarian but strutting around involves immense pride and pleasure.And why shouldn't a Monitor or Divisional Representative or Class Representative deserve it?Such was my bonding with the post that I opted to look away when an opportunity to become the Head Boy was staring me in the face.I refused to resign as the Class Monitor.Why can't concepts like peaceful coexistence (of posts) which we learn in History and Civics be implemented as far as scholastic democracy is concerned?They were not offices of profit!In my junior college,i.e.Ruia,Divisional Representatives had namesake meetings in a conference room which looked outfashioned enough to look like a meeting room for the Indira Gandhi cabinet.Unfortunately for me and
fortunately for the DRs in power at present,it has been renovated after I left junior college and now has an impressive official look and could host a high level meet for an important diplomatic deal. Six months sans responsibility cannot be tolerated and I hope I ride the anti-incumbency wave in the fourth semester.No offence meant to our current CR,Vipul.He has done a fabulous job without succumbing to pressure.He carried out a benevolent act by offering me the post of assistant CR.I am ready to play the prodigal CR in the Return of the true Realm if the interim Government wishes to step down or is fed up of its duties.And I sincerely hope that I would regain my popularity as a 'by default' CR after I resume my duties and there won't be any need for a caretaker Government in the future.Being the undisputed Class representative upto 2010 would definitely be advantageous to my fellow batchmates and I am sure that I'll strive for the welfare of my class,irrespective of my return to power or not.Phew!I still need to practise delivering political speeches.Haha.My speech still sounds like a cliched old speech by a candidate aspiring to be a local municipal corporator.Come December and I'll start flexing my muscles to warm up for yet another term as CR,if public consensus nods in acceptance.Maybe I can do a Franklin D.Roosevelt this time!

Joy to a billion hearts!

India had vociferously opposed the notion of a shorter version of cricket,20-20 cricket,when it was to be introduced in the world arena.The BCCI had stressed on the fact that cricket in any form attracts crowds in India,so a shorter version was of no need.Finally,after relenting to pressure exerted by the ICC,India agreed to appear in this form of cricket by playing its debut T20 match against South Africa in 2006.India was a dark horse in the first T20 world cup.'Experts' were of the opinion that it would be a cakewalk for world champions 'Australia'.Some even felt that England had a golden opportunity thanks to its domestic 20-20 format.But the young Indian team led by Mahendra Singh Dhoni showed the world that India cannot be underestimated.Most Indian fans were convinced that India is playing in the World Cup as a mere formality because the team landed in South Africa sans the Holy Trinity-Tendulkar,Dravid,Ganguly.The Indians could not have a flying start as their first game against Scotland was washed out.A do or die match against Pakistan meant that India had to maintain its record of always winning against its arch-rival in a world cup.The match was a complete thriller as it see-sawed till the end.India could view a comprehensive win until Pakistan's sudden second wind brought close a Pakistani win.India managed to end the match in a tie;and the world held its breath as it was about to witness the first bowl-out in a world cup.As Rameez Raja put it,it can't be more romantic,an Indo-Pak tied match.But rules are meant to be followed by sportsmen unlike politicians.Pakistani skipper Shoaib Malik was unaware of the concept of a bowl-out.And the bowl-out proved to be a magnificent display of Indian intellect.Pakistan opted for a battery of pacers while the Indians selected part-time spinners.The second mistake committed by Pakistan was that they didn't advise their bowlers to maintain their natural run-up,thus disturbing the rhythm and the Pakistani bowlers missed the stumps by yards.Whereas the Indian off-spinners struck the stump every time.Venkatesh Prasad,India's bowling coach said that the Indian bowlers have been practising for a bowl-out ever since the T20 World Cup was announced and the skipper Dhoni selected bowlers who have maintained a high percentage of striking the stumps.India not only qualified for the super8s but also topped the pool.India's start in the super 8s was not auspicious.We lost to New Zealand by just 10 runs.Now India faced an uphill task of defeating both England and South Africa.Yuvraj Singh rose to the occasion as he belted England's Stuart Broad over the boundary off each ball of his over,thus becoming the first batsman to do so in Twenty20 cricket.He scored the fastest half century in T20.South Africa had statistics on their side as they had not lost a single match in the tournament but as usual luck did not favour South Africa in the world cup as they lost to India and were also knocked out of the tournament as India beat them comprehensively!India faced world champions Australia in the semifinals.India;s hopes were raised as Pakistan had defeated the Aussies in the super 8s.India prayed for an Indian victory and Yuvraj Singh's exemplary batting skills and an all round effort by the Indian team helped them defeat Australia.And could it have been better?????An Indo-Pak world cup final!!!!!!!The subcontinent was bubbling with excitement as the two teams geared up for a display of fireworks using the bat and the ball.People in Mumbai were returning home before 5.30 pm and it was almost a self-imposed curfew all throughout India and Pakistan.And it proved to be a very dramatic match; with India struggling to defend a very low total.At one stage it looked as if India is walking away with the cup but Misbah-ul-Haq once again scared India by hitting Harbhajan Singh over the ropes.The last over was to be bowled by Joginder Sharma as Indians prayed all throughout the world.Misbah hit a six and Pakistanis started celebrating and waiting for another six.On the very next ball Misbah veered away from the off stump to hit a Ashrafulesque six and as the ball rose Indians closed their eyes and missed a heartbeat as they felt it would clear the boundary but imagine the wave of relief that swept across India as they saw the Kerala Express Sreesanth under the ball and young and old alike jumped and yelled as he caught the ball!!!!India won the match by 5 runs.I had never seen mass psychology and spontaneity playing a more harmonious role.People in cities and villages hit the streets to celebrate.People called up near and dear ones and exclaimed congratulatory remarks and also discussed Shoaib Malik's controversial statements during the presentation ceremony.He had thanked Muslims all over the world for support and Indian Muslims were tumultuous and demanded apology from the Pakistani skipper.Witnesses to the celebrations felt that Diwali had come early as fireworks meant for Anant Chaturdashi were utilised a day prior,people waved tricolours and danced to the tunes of dhols at Shivaji Park in Mumbai.I am lucky to have witnessed it.Chak De India blared all around and slogans like Bharat Mata Ki Jai and Ganapati Bappa Moraya rent the skies.The policemen who were getting ready for Ganpati Visarjan scheduled for the next day had to start their duty almost 12 hours earlier.Households celebrated the heroic victory by distributing sweets meant to be offerings for Lord Ganesha.We Indians always go insane when it comes to celebrating success.
And it was just the beginning of celebrations as Mumbai prepared for a grand victory rally cum welcome.We saw the victory rally on Cadell Road at Shivaji Park.Lakhs lined up on the streets cheering the team as Yuvraj and Sreesanth occasionally broke into improptu jigs.Wankhede stadium was packed with enthusiastic fans.We were lucky to be able to enter the packed stadium and the condition was not as bad as we had expected it to be.Fans were not packed liked sardines in a tin as is widely believed.We were seated and that too pretty comfortably in the Sachin Tendulkar stand.The 2 hour wait for the team wasn't boring as the stadium bubbled with excitement as the crowd swayed to the tunes of popular patriotic songs and latest bollywood hits.The team was welcomed with a loud applause but it was really sad to see that the players were forced to sit behind politicians.It looked more like a Nationalist Congress Party meeting than a felicitation ceremony for the cricket team.Harsha Bhogle hosted the event very well until he asked the team to run a victory lap along with the trophy!The moment the team started the victory lap,the wired fencing of the Guest Stand collapsed and thousands leaped onto the field.Fans in other stands were inspired and they made an effort to jump too.This 'tamasha' was highly entertaining! The Rapid Action Force was called which lathicharged the insane fans.Some fans got stuck between two barbed wires and could neither jump onto the ground nor could they return back to their seats.They had to face the flak of the police force's batons.The crowd at the North End which is very notorious for its inflammatory comments during international matches could not restrain itself from jumping into the fray.North Enders threw wooden benches on the police constables guarding the ground.Unfortunately,the constables too responded violently.They threw back the benches!!!But the Mumbai Police do deserve a standing ovation for their discipline shown during the 3 days of 'public jubilation' in Mumbai.And they should also be thanked for entertaining cricket fans at the Wankhede stadium.Although the entry to the stadium was free,Mumbaikars would like to say "PAISA WASOOL!".